I just filed chapter 13, with my work cutting back, how can I get a lower house payment, and try to get a grant for a start up small business to make enough to get my wife through school, and a another pregnancy

Call your existing lender and plead your case. Ask for a loan modification and go from there. I wouldnt anticipate a small biz loan - you have too many issues that add risk to any transaction that a lender would consider. One site I have sent some people to with mixed results (for them not me) is prosper.com. good luck

You may need to make a lot of phone calls to your bank to see if they can help you. If not, there are firms that work with attorneys who try and assist you. I have someone to recommend if this interests you. Congrats on the future kid!